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Monday 1 June 1992

Article - I did it my way

I DID IT MY WAY…

I’ve been doing some assertiveness training recently. (A friend told me I needed that about as much as a lion needs roaring lessons…) For some people this is a major step towards accepting their self-worth; towards abandoning a “pardon-me-for-living” frame of mind; towards living like a king, even when you are a pauper. (That’s what Robin Williams is about in the film The Fisher King.) At its worst, this is a method for making sure you always get your own way!

Here’s a common example. “Waiter! I know its not your fault, but this chicken is tough and dry. It’s been overcooked. Please bring me another meal.” Everyone else on the table at a friend’s birthday party was embarrassed. They would have complained to each other (when the birthday boy had gone, of course) but never to the waiter. One just doesn’t ‘make a scene’.

There was no ‘scene’. It was all very calm and we got an apology, a nice piece of chicken and deserts on the house.

I saw outside a church the other day: “The Meek shall inherit the earth” and someone had added underneath: “If that’s alright with you?” Some Christians really do have this false idea of meekness - “I’m just a doormat for the Lord.” It was precisely because Jesus was assertively in control of his own life, that he could display true meekness in laying down that life for others. Jesus lived like a king although he was a pauper: “Meekness and majesty, in perfect harmony.”

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