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Saturday 1 February 1992

Article - Amantes sunt Amentes

AMANTES SUNT AMENTES
(Lovers are Lunatics)

Most - no, to be honest, all of my Valentine cards got lost in the post last year. In fact the only two cards I ever remember receiving carried depressing messages: “Every time I see you Dearie, I can believe in Darwin’s Theory.” And then on the Leap Year in ‘88: “You are the answer to a maiden’s prayer. Not exactly what I prayed for; but apparently the answer…”

Men, in general, only send cards to women who would brain them or withdraw their services if a card were not forthcoming. On the other hand, a lot of romantic women send a lot of cards to a very select group of men. And I am obviously not one of those Overchosen Few. (Although I am slightly more encouraged by the statistic that half the people married in Britain last year were men…) So I have to read the cards on my friends’ shelves.

Most of them carry those slushy, rose-petalled messages that make you feel that the sender is several bricks short of a load. But then even sensible men I know seem to do silly things when they are in love; sometimes even unwise things.

Wasn’t it Publilius Syrus who said amare et sapere vix deo conceditur (“even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time”)? Good Friday reminds us that our God found it infinitely costly to love and be wise at the same time.

Woman Alive monthly column