POST FEMINIST MAN
I often get telephone calls about preaching engagements.Church secretary: “And will you be bringing your wife?”
Me: “No. I’m not married.”
Church secretary: “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Me: “Please don’t be. I’m happy to be single at present.”
Embarrassed Church secretary: “I just assumed you must be married.”
People always do. In fact a few years ago, when everything seemed to be geared towards the family, I started describing myself as a ‘childless single-parent family’. However, I love babies and children and am an honorary uncle to dozens.
I sat and fed a baby the other afternoon. It had been a hassled week and I was full of angst and nervous energy. But Samuel is a slow feeder. He loses interest and stares at me instead of sucking. And then I have to stop and coax minor eruptions from him every few ounces. And he can’t stand other distractions so I had to take him to a quiet darkened room away from his little sisters who always want to pat him like a dog.
He was a lot of help to me that day. Samuel wasn’t worried about war in the Gulf, or the state of the church, or why my windscreen washers weren’t working, or about the deadline for this article, or... He was happy to feel secure, warm, loved, fed. He was content with the important things in his life and not old enough to be worried about the secondary things. In that private conversation with little Samuel, I found myself smiling at him (and crying a little) as I realised that I was secure, warm, loved, fed. Maybe, I wasn’t ecstatically happy to be 40 and single, and the pressures and struggles with priorities and inner conflicts were still there. But I realised again that I was loved by God (who I couldn’t hug), and by my friends (who I could), and I had a lot of good things going for me. So why be anxious about tomorrow?
Samuel agreed with me, and guzzled and burped and then - well that’s the nice thing about only being an uncle - I gave him back to his dad to change his nappy!
Woman Alive monthly column
